Aries – PCP- remember that guy who killed his girlfriend and then ATE her???  That’s just your appetizer, followed by bungee jumping, extreme rock climbing and cutting off your own arm.

Taurus – A pot brownie- made with imported single-origin Madagascar chocolate, of course. followed by a  catered seven course meal and a 10 hour nap in a king size bed with silk sheets.

Gemini – Anything once- for science, chased with lots of espresso while texting the effects to your vast network of people you met briefly.

Cancer – Wine from the cellar- sipped from your favorite chipped mug, wrapped in your Nanna’s blanket, curled up on your padded rocking chair, fluffy cat on your lap, moon shining through the window.

Leo – Extacsy- preferably at one of those dancing parties, with a stage, and no one else on it but you…ok, maybe a live band, in the background.

Virgo – Addreall – you organize all the closets in the house, the refrigerator and the pantry, then you pot herbs in matching pots with labels and alphabetize them along the kitchen window, finally, you prepare three types of food for the dog and cat.

Libra – Prozac, chased with Valium- keeps you looking pretty, relaxed and happy when you’re totally freaked out trying to guess what other people are thinking and  hopelessly weighing your options to unsuccessfully make that decision you were supposed to make five years ago.

Scorpio – Peyote and Spanish Fly- breaking taboos and spiritual awakening, what could be better? Oh yeah, you do this while wandering around a haunted house with a well-known psychic.

Sagittarius – LSD – it’s like getting to travel to other realms, expand the mind, see more, be more, experience more, more, and then some. It’s awesome. You take too much, of course, and end up in the emergency room, where the nurses all love you and want to marry you.

Capricorn – Coke – the best, most expensive kind, which you dole out to the guy who thinks he’s your boss and anyone else that might be useful to you on your way up the life’s ladder.

Aquarius – You make your own- no one has heard of it, but it’s awesome, like you are. Basically it squashes those few pesky emotions that somehow sneaked through your strong rational philosophy, allowing you to be even more freaky, stubborn, and unique as you single-mindedly work on your project of world unification.

Pisces – Any one of the opiates, or all of them- while laying on a broken, lopsided bed, staring at a wall of jellyfish and listening to Morrissey.

Virgo – The permanent look of pain you are complaining about seeing on my face is due to the fact that I’m watching you perform so far beneath your potential it is physically hurting me.

Libra – Quit asking me what I think and take the freaking lead already, I will follow and look fabulous.

Scorpio – Half my friends are already dead, the other half I’m having sex with.

Sagittarius – DId I just offend you? Are you kidding me? STFU and learn something already!

Capricorn – I already know exactly what to use you for.

Aquarius – Did that go how you thought it would? No, didn’t think so.

Pisces – I’m either drunk, stoned, or enlightened. I can’t tell which.

Aries – Who are you, and why do I care? Oh yeah, I don’t.

Taurus – Peace, Food & Comfort

Gemini – Hi, nice to meet you. You’re so interesting, oh and now your boring.

Cancer – You can find me at home. Always.

Leo – Stand, cheer, and throw your undergarments at me.

 

 

Capricorn Moon wants to get things done, check items off the eternal lists, move forward.  Yesterday it rolled over Pluto, who is now going forward, and that feeling was just intensified by one million.  Today we feel the four planets in Libra screaming, “But what about…” If we listen to them too long, moon gets depressed, feels smothered, and Uranus in Aries joins in with helpful random inspirations and drives that go against any plan you have ever had.  I think the way out of this is to spend time with your friends, entertain random ideas of action gracefully (Libra and Aries) and take steps every day along your plan (Moon).  It’s not going to feel good.  I told my husband that I felt like the gas and break was on at the same time and he said, take the car out of gear.  If the tension gets too much, do this.  Take yourself out of gear for a moment and coast, that’s always an option.

How do we get our Libra part to make a decision, to choose and boldly go forth, to stop forever second guessing, doubting, questioning itself and just go for it, whatever it may be???  First, I think, adopt the belief that no one actually makes decisions, everything is already written, and you are just enjoying the story as you live it.  This allows the Libra to lighten up with the fear of making a mistake and therefor missing out on all that is good and beautiful. Second, give the space to waffle, to go back and forth freely, without judgement.  Allow your Libra part to go overboard with the typical Libra drama, but instead of being attached to it, have fun with it.  Change your mind every five seconds, list the positives and negatives of everything, and enjoy the view from the fence.  Third, when faced with a real choice, go with your gut, meaning the decision that relaxes your insides, but only %100 percent, absolutely do NOT go with the clenched gut, fifty mile an hour rationalizing mind choice.  Let’s see how that works.

We are going to get some Air, some light at the end of this Earth tunnel.  One of the nice things about the planets is that they keep moving.  Sun is now in Gemini and Moon will go into Aquarius tomorrow, stimulating Saturn in Libra, making it a great time to rewrite our relationships.  Take four pieces of paper, write down everything you love about your relationship on the first page and put it aside.  On the second page, write down everything you don’t like to everything you hate, then rip it up and throw that page away. On the third page, write down everything you wish you had, your ideal relationship. Then rip that up and throw it away too, because we are working with Saturn here not Neptune or Jupiter, so let’s get down to what’s real.  Then on the last page write down three things you are willing to commit to doing to improve the relationship, however slightly. Post first and fourth pages on the fridge, because that is what Saturn in Libra is all about, gratitude for the unique relationship you DO have, and steps you are willing to take yourself to make it better. Here is a picture of Saturn’s spectacular rings, said to be made up of comets, moons, and astroids that were bashed up in coming to close to the planet. Funny how this harsh planet is so beautiful.

All the Air signs have to do with fear; because really, fear is a mental construct, and Air rules the mental domain.  Air element is associated with the Fall, the scariest season.  Fall is when you’re planning how the hell to get through Winter.  Once you hit Winter, your there and it’s all about perseverance, Earth element, just keep focused and get through it.  If you make it to Spring alive, and you see the Sun again, and it’s warm, it’s all about Inspiration, Fire Element, great ideas and playfulness.  Summer, well, Summer is the easiest, that’s when you get to relax and Feel, Water Element, you tune in to what life is all about.  But this post is about the Air Signs and their inherent fears.  Gemini is scared of being bored, lonely, and having nothing to do.  Libra is scared of making decisions, people not being harmonious, and anything ugly.  Aquarius is scared of being boring, group think, and anything dogmatic.  While the Air parts of your chart are trying to get you to spend your time planning and worrying about their fears, remind them to take a moment to be in the moment, because “life is what happens while your making plans.”  (a bunch of undocumented mashed together quotes ala Gemini Moon)

Libra has a  hard time making decisions.  Now that Saturn is in there, not only will it be hard, but now it seems really important too.  Saturn will tell us that we HAVE to make the RIGHT decision and we better do it PROPERLY and RIGHT NOW and if we do the WRONG one, we are BAD BAD BAD and there will be TERRIBLE consequences.  It’s a good time to remind ourselves that according to some, it’s all written anyway and therefore it has to be written already what decision we made, and not even within our power.  So let’s relax a bit enjoy the journey.  It’s not about what decision we make but HOW we make it, and then WHAT WE MAKE OF IT, whatever it is. Currently we are pretending to choose where we will live next.   What are you pretending to choose?

I woke up on fire today, the couch had to go.  It was an overstuffed, under supporting monstrosity that lulled us into many a movie watching, ice cream eating wasted evening.  I had been to the gym one day and studied the results of that couch in the wall to wall mirrors with horror.  The couch had to go.  I was sure of it, but then I felt all kinds of bad for The Husband, who might miss the couch and the friends that stop by, who would have no where to sit, and The Baby, who liked to nurse on the couch at times.  I noticed myself doing extensive mind reading, second guessing, and what do you think behavior making a total mess of the whole morning.  It’s a weird dynamic, to be both fiercely driven and want everything to be OK with everyone else. Saturn being in Libra, makes me be extremely frustrated and impatient with the relationship part of the drama.  My goal, until Saturn moves on to Scorpio, is to be actively nicer.  Not just mind reading and hoping it’s all OK, but, since Saturn is all about work, putting in the work to make it all work, without sacrificing the Aries drive of course.  And ideas how???